May 9,2000 - the Day I filed for Social Security

It was a dissapointment. I had expected a Social Security employee who would welcome me in and make me feel really GOOD..who would talk about how great it was about the new law and how I was able to make all this money and be able to also draw SS....and the lady who helped me seemed less than happy to see me or even be there. She did not have a "cute" cubicle...the old 55 Marietta Street building did not have the pizaaz of the new Federal Building where I had been to see about P's SSI earlier in the year....

And another dissapointment...I had thought my birth certifidate would be in the Maryland D of A and H envelope...I had sent the request the wrong place. Insread it was a statement saying to go to Vital Statistics...I signed the form, arranging for the money to be sent straight to my bank account....and that was that. She cautioned me to get the birth certificate soon as the application would only remain"open" for a short time.

However, one piece of good news....it will be retrospective to January so I will get on big check to start off with. I will also be having money taken out for Medicare, so it probably makes sense to go ahead and sign up with an HMO for the moment.

Speaking of credit cards....there is over 4,000 charged on the ALA visa, over 3,000 on the Optima and about 1,500 on the Southtrust Visa....She said my SS payment will be about 1,200 a month, so it would be 7,000 for the first big check and that would pay off most of the Optima and the ALA leaving the Southtrust account. I would like to think I could leave this one alone for awhile and use July for my trips to Callaway and Chicago and then apply August to tax bills...half each of the Ridgewood and other DeKalb property taxes.

I wonder how I managed to charge up so much Do not have any records.

1,700.....rd trip NZ 500 ......that United ss flight 275.......rd trip flight to San Antonio 800.......camerat I boubght for NZ, and hardly used

but that still leaves over 5,000....where did it go ?

Do I still owe for all those dues that I charged in 1999 when I got so carried away joining all those library organizations ? Where did it go ? I can't think of anything that I have to show for it. I didn't charge stuff for Eden, I think I paid off expenses for Phoebe with her check for the 1998 days she spent in that motel in Rome.

I am going to go back to record keeping as I used to in that blue account book.....For absolute YEARS I was compulsive.... I had along talk with Sandy...she said that they started overpaying Dick...they opened an account to put the money in ..and in time were asked to refund $15,000.00. This after contact after contact to see if they could refund it on their own. What a story.

Called Jane and talked to her a long time. She said Buffy is enjoying SC, studying hard for the SC Bar. She is still terribly tired of school but planning a wonderful Medterriana (spelling ?) cruise with a friend this summer.

It was a great day at work. We four librarians got together and cleared out the "ready reference" area....and then got the shelf moved down so we could see people at the computer better.

Had only one reference question but it was a really good one. A now second year student had an employer...Medic.nne Shoppe want her to get information for him so he could put together a little booklet for his customers on herbal products. She came on in and quickly learned about Micromedex (and how to site references there), got the OVID passwords...and generally had a good experience. It would make a good practical assignment.

Trudy said that she ever had her "talk" with Judith. Instead Beth is going to consider her request for 20 hours and get back to her.

I showed Trudy and two of the J's (Jeremy and Jamene)...3 choices for Journal Club...and we selected the 1998 B and N article from Library Journal...I got the articles copied, and then put a cover letter...and got them in boxes.

Sent email to Carol Burns for D's reccomendation. She may get an interview, but I doubt if she will really get the job. I suspect they want someone with more computer skills. Of course the applicant pool may not be that good.

Sent my report to Judith about the DLit class... but I know it needed more editing.

She gave me some deadlines....Next Monday for a "revision" of the 2000/0001 plan....then July 14..and then July 27 additional deadlines. Got a appointment with Sally for the SWOTS exercise on Circulation with her staff.

She also wants me to go to two meetings in Griffin and Macon on May 23 and May 26...So...the month is shaping up with more and more commitments. I still plan to go to BIG in Athens. There will be the PubMed workshop on the 22nd and of course the AHSLC meeting on the 18th....and the 10th the two library workshop...and at some point a Mercer Council of Libraries....Yes, a lot going on.

One thing I have to get on to is the survey for the Chicago paper.

Interesting... I sent my evalation of Leigh Hall to Judith first with copies to the other librarians and all three started their comments by saying that they agreed with me.

The problem right now is that I am not really well organized in terms of simply where things are....reports, etc. I need to get to the computer and simply clean them up.


Follow-up

August 9, 2000....Three months later

So...what happened...

I did pay off the 3,000 Optima credit card with one big whopping check...but then in late May got hooked on Ebay and let money for dolls, books, videos, things I had no use for...gobble up over half of it..and then some....so I am back where I started....

Pretty bed.Pretty bad.

Diane did not get the Emory job, but did get an interview. Same thing for a job at a Florida university...and now has a lead on a Gwinett public school job.

I am feeling more and more disorganized at work..office has papers all over it....

Maybe I am afraid to retire when I am not organized...in case this disorganization just runs on over into the rest of my life.....

Have gotten Amy to do quite a bit of the pharmacy stuff for me...She will be far better liked by the rest of the faculty, where I do not feel like I really fit in....Did I ever really feel like I fit in ?

So....what's to do, Elizabeth....what's to do now ?

What if

1. ) I did let Phoebe come and live here....and just managed to come here to sleep....and managed to work out, etc.....

2.) Admitted all this junk I had acquired was stupid..a terrible mania ...like all those stupid clothes and books you packed the basement at Ridgewood with....and just called a disposal place and hauled them off to a thrift shop...and got yourself back to the bare bones....And never did it again...

NOW THIS IDEA IS LOOKING BETTER AND BETTER ALL OF THE TIME....

Delightful as these dolls are...they also clutter up you life and your mind.

CLUTTER,CLUTTER,CLUTTER,CLUTTER...AND MORE CLUTTER....CLUTTER, CLUTTER...Even all of those floppy discs, and photos sitting out there on Photopoine..CLUTTER, CLUTTER,CLUTTER, CLUTTER...

Lean, clean...where you need to be. No bills hanging over your head....

Does all of this writing help at all...does it really help, or not....what's to do....

One thing I am going to try to keep in mind..

this written August 9, 2000

I have a real character flaw here somehow, that leads to this kind of disorganization...and there must be some what that I can cure it....though I don't know exactly how....

All of this hanging on to the past, all these years with those stupid diaries..and yes, they were stupid...

THIS stupid diary....

You are not living life to the fullest, Elizabeth..not really.